On a day marked by a frantic stream of friends, food, family and administrative exercises with Hospice care — Hospice officially begins with first nurse today at 2 — Becca rallied late yesterday by displaying her vital signs: a fighting spirit, soft but lucid responses and even a few bed exercises led by the indomitable Maryclare McCauley. Becca had a good night, relatively speaking, or at least compared to Sunday night. As for the rest of us? Put it this way, I remember rubbing what i thought was Abby's back at 4:30 am, only to be corrected by her older sister, Izzy. "Dad, it's me." So if there are any typos...
There's been an outpouring of warm, wonderful e-mails to Becca from other LMS survivors about her inspiration and fighting heart. I wish I could read them all to you. I did read them to Becca. Some day I will post them. But for the rest of us NOT inflicted with this vile disease, I will relay a couple of messages that moved me to tears, hours and buckets into the wee hours of the morning.
A simple and moving message from an old friend who follows the blog: "You are all in our thoughts. I will try to focus on the positive memories, the hikes, the laughs, the long visits over cups of tea... "
And from Abby, the night owl, who likes to crawl in bed around 10 and ruminate till 2:
Abby: "I see photos of mommy and it makes me sad to see her now. I want all those photos of mommy next to the bed."
Me: "Which ones? Can’t picture them. I thought they were mostly of you."
Abby: "The ones where you look so happy together like the two of you when you were so happy in Italy."
Gut wrencher! See why the buckets were out last night. And that was not even the most heart wrenching one. But it is what connects us -- a beautiful picture and memory of happier times. One we will hold onto and cherish. Ones I remind Becca of as she nods in and out of consciousness.
I hope you will join us is sharing those memories. Hold onto those pictures!
Love,
Steve
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Hey Steve, thanks for updating all of us anxiously awaiting the latest news. It's funny you mention the pictures, I couldn't sleep in the middle of the night and ended up looking through old pictures of our families together at Berkeley Family Camp over the years and the great camping trips we took to Sequoia and Bass Lake. Great memories that will always remain! Sending our love to you all. Tanya
ReplyDeleteBecca -- I've been thinking about the many years of connections and being part of the same community ... I don't even know/how when our mothers met but whenever I bump into Janet around town, it reminds me of those ties. Walden, the Timberhill years, Tom and then meeting up with you again at Berkwood-Hedge. We are lucky to have these deep roots that reach back and will carry forward with our children. I hope you are comfortable and I am thinking of you. Love, Leah
ReplyDeleteBecca, sweetie. Wow, hospice. Michael Lerner loves to crowe about the many people he knows who failed out of hospice. I hope for the same for you. You must be floating between worlds now. I hope the pain has been banished and you are able to fly like a bird, touching down to share beautiful moments with Abby and your many beloveds. I love you, Becca.
ReplyDeletelove,
Denise
Thinking of all of you. Hold hands, rub backs. Those feelings in your bodies of love and connection will endure. heidi
ReplyDelete